Below-waves.

Dipping my head below the surface, I will get my hair well wet this time. I will kick from the rock with hardened feet, surge under, and follow the forms I find there. I will trust that I can breathe beneath the surface, where surely I have breathed before.

Down there, the waves of the sea’s weathered surface are but a distant hum; it’s the surface that’s the shadow in a world that’s upside-down. Though muffled from the maddening crowd and sheltered from the storm, the under-sea is not serenely silent, though in its widest-reaching pockets where there are but specks of dust I expect I will seem to be alone.

But below-waves is populated by monsters of the metaphoric deep, all swimming about and moving about in a miasma of myth and its raw matter, the recycled stories of life. A whale, its wide mouth oblivious, merely passing through the soup, will scoop me up – the ambivalence of fate has chosen me to fall.

Once swallowed by the whale, spat out, made formless and reformed, I will drift towards the surface once again, borne by the colder currents, restless, underneath. Slowly, as the sunlight filters ever brighter through the swirl of thought and memory and with the creatures of the ‘tween-space passing through, I will unfurl, and there dwell, drifting, tethered to the deep, in the sunlit submerged kelp-farms of the sea.

Here in this almost-place, I will grow until I am ready to drift free – it is a place of plenty, of filtered sunlight, of sheltered shade, where life abounds and takes on strange shapes, forming shoals that shimmy and shiver together as organic cosmic disco-balls. This is not the place of strangeness but one where strangers come to stay. A realm of in-betweens and not-quites, where a lamp caught in the mirror is reflective of it all.

Weather Turning.

The wisteria had completely died away for the winter and was now just a mess of bare, stick-like tendrils grasping to the house. But other flowers had been more stubborn – the roses were still bravely opening new flirtatious buds into the cold and the lavender trees, neat and thick, stood staunchly. The summer-dried and now rain-soaked leaves smelt like French fields, sun-drenched and stretching out flat beneath a low, blue sky. It seemed some hasty gardener had been through the bushes, for the path was strewn with freshly clipped lavender branches and scattered flower-heads. They and the cut ends of the tree’s branches were leaking fragrance into the air and infusing the raindrops with oil. The rain broke-up the air willy-nilly so that I caught the scent only in quick snatches before it was washed or wind-blown away. As I walked down the path the cat-scratches on the backs of my hands brushed against the bristle-like dead-heads and stung, risen and puffed, in fine slivers of pink through almost translucent skin.

The Tree That Felt Disquiet.

So the magpie swept up to his high branch, wings buffeted by the warm summer gusts. His tree grew old and tall at the top of the cutting, at its very edge, where the little cliff of scraggly bushes dropped suddenly down to the four sets of tracks and the log yard. It was a pale, silvery gum, straight-trunked with few branches, each one sturdy and clustered with large, long, thin leaves that shifted in colour from apple green in youth to faded bottle in middle-age and to a palette of spotted purples and greys as they grew ready to fall. Along with its dry leaves, it dropped unusually large gumnuts that, falling from a great height, cracked and spilled seeds that went scuttling over the pavement. The magpie had seen many trains pass on the tracks below him, but the gumtree in its long lifetime had seen many more. The tree had heard many voices, and wondered many things. Chief among its thoughts at that moment was an attempt to comfortably explain the growing nagging sensation it felt of some mounting, rumbling energy in the air. Had the world become faster, these trains more frequent, or was it the tree that had slowed?

It was a very New York story.

The subway was fetid with humidity. Taking the detour uptown to change my clothes had been a wasted effort. A dark patch already flourished at the armpit I had to raise to reach the overhead holds as I rode the train back down to the East Village; by the time I made it to the top of the exit stairway sweat clung to the skin of my stomach and grabbed stickily at my shirt.

Emerging onto Essex Street was barely a relief. A solid bank of dark clouds lowered the ceiling of the sky, and there was no breeze besides the cool flow of air-con escaping from shop doors.

It was a regulars-welcome kind of bar, oblong and small. The kind of bar where the very arrangement of the furniture encouraged either solitude or intimacy. It was a lovers-and-loners kind of bar.

We had the place to ourselves for a few hours. It was still the afternoon; the bar hadn’t got going yet. He poured them, and I drank. Memory licked at the edges of the picture, thick and sweet as the blueberry-flavoured liqueur in my glass.

A bar for lovers and loners. But which one was I?

A Re-Write Into Fiction.

High above the call of the crows there came another bird’s sound—its long, high, warbled note implied a sweeping, swooping seabird. It was several days before she glimpsed them through the window, their smooth skyward sweep taking them high above the crows. They were disdainful of the courtyard and its window-cages; they circled the sky above the building-tops, and settled only on high roofs where they would have a view across the sea.

A cat, with white forepaws and a piebald behind, slunk across the top of a wall, paused, silent and still, to gaze into the garden below, continued, slipped under the barbed wire ringing the yard, and slipped precipitously down a tree to the ground. Later she saw him settled to his purpose, head down and ears pricked, crouched with latent spring in every muscle. He sat sentry over a corner of the dusty trodden-earth yard, eyes fixed on a shadowy border-planting of deep green growth. It seemed, for a long moment, that the only movement in the yard came from the slowly shifting shadows of the thick old drop tree at its heart.

The Story of the Carrier Pigeon Continues.

The carrier pigeon, after a pleasant sun-doused doze on the window-ledge, awoke to the growing dark. The sun still glittered down the length of the three by-lanes that ran down the short edge of the square, its light caught and shadowed at points by shuffling pedestrians and small sellers’ carts, and on the upper floors, by lines of washing strung there by the shopkeepers’ wives and by the occasional row of tiny sparrows perched upon the lines. It was lowering now to its final ebb, and the pigeon thought there is a bright colour to the sky tonight, and ruffled his feathers and stretched, his hold on the slightly-sloped stone ledge seeming suddenly loose. Resettling his perch—for there was nowhere else conceivably, now, to go, with his homeward message yet undelivered—he resettled his oddly ruffled mind.

It was odd, it seemed to the carrier-pigeon, that he should still be carrying his message. He was not, surely, usually this long in waiting on the ledge. At the other end…yes, there had been a wait there, more times than once, but how many times, in any approximation, he could not say. At this end, though, it was odd. He scuffled along the breadth of the window-panes and took in the interior, all dark still, even as the outside sky grew darker and he thought, yes, usually there is flame by this darkness, and so, probably no human had arrived while he slept and waited. Probably no human at all, and certainly not the one for whom he waited—for he still carried his message.

He ruffled his feathers again—it was an unconscious response to a mounting sense of discomfort, though not physical, for he felt warm and rested still from his afternoon’s dozing, and had fed well at his last posting, where the Master of Pigeons (his name was Aldwick, though he was most commonly known as Young Master Pidge) kept up a live supply of crawlers. How exactly he sourced this supply, none was keen to enquire. Pip was particularly fond of Young Master Pidge’s crawlers—he considered, with some vagueness, that they tasted of the city’s southern flat-lands, for there was a whiff, he felt, of the sea and its saltiness and its fishiness, and this scant scent of salt always gave him some impression we can most usefully describe as an impression of the concept of ‘home’. He knew—though how he knew it, he could not conceive of—that he was born of the city’s southern edges.

Once he had remembered something—though he was not, afterward, really to remember the remembrance, except once, in a moment that flashed by in an instant—of the place he was born. A ragged wiry nest amongst the grass-clumps at the outskirts of the southern city, in the rag-lands, the stretch of dry grassy land with its occasional date-palm and its occasional shanty-like sellers’ shack. The taste of toasted corn—snatched from beneath the tables of an outdoor café close to the waters-edge—had once given him this impression of ‘home’ too, a corn much like the one sold by water-side stallsmen.

The rag-lands ended patchily and merged with the mudflats that swelled each evening into shallow waters, flooding the ever-green grasses. Each early morning, as the waters drew back into the bays, and the flats were lain wet and bare beneath the very earliest glimmers of sunlight, and the night’s lingering coolness still cut through the summer’s air, the birds of the shallows came to feed on the sea-crawlers left stranded on the glistening muds. Some used long bills to reach deep into the water-logged sandy mud, others shuffled wide bills along the stretches of shallow water, catching up the small fish drifting in the waters.

Click here to read Part 1.

An Opening (‘And With No Questions Left Unanswered’).

The carrier-pigeon waited at the window, peering into the gloom beyond the glass. Somewhere in the shadows of the room, nothing stirred; all was quiet. The breezeless summer air sat heavily on his feathers, so he ducked his head into the shade and left the sun to warm his back as he waited on the ledge. He remained only lazily aware of the movements of the few other pigeons and some scavenging sparrows that flew listlessly through the square. Still fewer came and went through open windows on errands—today, even the humans, usually so busy, with so much to say, seemed languid and idle. Yet there was an energy somewhere. Even as he dozed, the carrier-pigeon felt a buzz about his head and thought, dreamily, this day there is a tension in the sky. What significance this tension might hold was, he knew, a thing beyond his reckoning, so, with no questions left unanswered and his sense of familiar peace undisturbed, he slept, quietly waiting.

Click here to read Part 2.

Suburban Train Line.

Mumbai — February 2018.

Heroes hang out of the doorways, vying to be soonest on the ground, dangle their feet above the passing platform, waiting for the perfect moment to strike in their soft-soled sandals.

Hot polyester suits scratch buttock-to-buttock.

A eunuch slaps the shoulders of the first-class passengers, dark-eyed in khol.

A pure plaintive song somewhere behind me. A girl sings, untrained but sweet-voiced, holds out her hand, slim and fragile, turns — not a girl, a woman. But 35 or 50? Her face ravaged, eyes blind.